


if you ever want to be in love

by hokaidos



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-04 17:13:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13369371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hokaidos/pseuds/hokaidos
Summary: A collection of short stories I promised I would (try to) write





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> https://twitter.com/exotadpoles/status/951798689432928257

When Jongin emerges from the bathroom Kyungsoo is already awake. The older male has his head turned towards the window, bleary eyes slowly getting used to the sunlight streaming through the blinds. Jongin smiles at that sight, of Kyungsoo lying naked beneath his blanket, greeting the beginning of a brand new day with him.

“Morning,” Jongin mutters as he rejoins Kyungsoo in bed. His muscles are relaxed from the hot shower, body warm, and Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word when he looks away from the window to bury his face in Jongin’s shoulder instead.

Rare displays of affection that Jongin sees only in the quiet morning, when the world outside is so cold and all Kyungsoo wants is to stay in bed.

“I’m not going to school today.” Kyungsoo informs his boyfriend. His voice, low and hoarse from sleep, raises goosebumps across Jongin’s arms.

“Hm, okay.” They’ve been through this thousands of times. By now, Jongin knows what works far better than indulgence. “I’ll just have lunch with Sehun then. He’s been asking me to eat with him since last week.”

Immediately, Kyungsoo sits up. The blanket pools around his waist and Jongin holds back a smile when he sees his boyfriend’s frowning face. He reaches out, pokes the area between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows.

“You’ll get wrinkles.”

“You’re very mean,” Kyungsoo says. He swats Jongin’s hand away and stretches, pulling his hands above his head.

If Kyungsoo had any idea what Jongin thought of him right now, he would realize all of his jealousy is uncalled for. For Jongin can hardly remember how to breathe, or to keep breathing, when his eyes are too greedily trailing down Kyungsoo’s body, taking in the tattoos on his shoulders and chest and hips—areas hidden beneath everyday clothes, intimate areas only Jongin sees.

The older male flings the blanket aside and gets to his feet. He’s graceful even in the morning, doesn’t stumble slightly like Jongin does sometimes, and doesn’t seem to feel self-conscious as he makes his way to the bathroom in his state of nakedness. And Jongin can’t look away, can’t stop staring at the perfect swell of Kyungsoo’s ass, can’t believe everything about Kyungsoo is his and has been for two years.

Has it really been so long? He remembers the first time he saw Kyungsoo, and how much the older male used to scare him because of his cold demeanour and straightforwardness. He grew to appreciate that about Kyungsoo overtime, and now, there’s no one in this world he thinks more highly of than his boyfriend. In fact, even now, Kyungsoo would still fixate his icy gaze on him when he wasn't happy about something, but Jongin knows exactly what to do to make Kyungsoo smile again.

It’s still pretty early so Jongin decides to stay in bed for a little longer, and is just about to fall asleep when Kyungsoo steps out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his torso and his hair dripping wet.

Jongin blinks the sleepiness away and smiles again, thinking some things just never ever change.

-

People talk all the time. They talk when they know something and they talk when they don’t. They talk even if it’s absolutely none of their goddamn business and they talk as long as it’s a good story.

Jongin knew people would talk when they first got together. He expected it—after all, he was so different from Kyungsoo. It only surprised him that people still talked about them two years later, and that he still couldn’t hold Kyungsoo’s hand in the hallway without people turning around to stare as if they weren’t just like any other normal couple in this world.

“Because you are just about the sweetest person in this school and I am kind of an asshole,” Kyungsoo tells him.

“But you’re not an asshole!” Jongin argues back. “And I’m not that great a person.”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I guess so.” He sounds almost serious, until Jongin slaps his arm and his eyes start twinkling with mischief.

“You’re not supposed to agree. I am a great person. The greatest person in this world.” Jongin’s smile is smug and it drives Kyungsoo nuts.

At the end of the day, while Jongin is hurrying out of the building to meet Kyungsoo whose classes ended one hour before his, he encounters a girl gathering her fallen books. He jogs past her, then stops dead in his tracks. The fact that Kyungsoo is waiting for him is shoved to the back of his mind. Jongin pivots on his heels and starts helping her pick up her books without hesitation.

He even helps her carry the books all the way to the library, and when the girl thanks him profusely, sees his nametag and shyly asks if he’s that Jongin, Kyungsoo’s boyfriend, Jongin’s smile dims a little. She has a very pleasant face, big eyes and a dimpled smile, but he can practically hear the thoughts in her head right now.

Kyungsoo’s face comes to mind again. He knows how Kyungsoo is like to the rest of the world—he saw that side of Kyungsoo too when they first met, but things changed when they started to spend more time together, and Jongin saw Kyungsoo for who he really was, saw beyond the facade he wore. Saw right through the cold eyes, the indifferent expression.

“I am,” Jongin tells her proudly. “And if you meet my boyfriend, you’ll find out that he’s pretty much the sweetest person to walk this earth.”

He says that not to ascertain anything, not to prove anything, and certainly not to try to convince anyone that Kyungsoo isn’t what most people think he is. Jongin says that because he means it, genuinely does, and he finds out at this moment that he doesn’t really bother about what people think of them after all.

The only thing that matters is that he’s the only person who knows what Kyungsoo is like, that this ‘bad boy’ with tattoos and an icy gaze loves puppies and chocolate ice cream and finds it hard to get out of bed in the morning.

By the time he gets to Kyungsoo, the older male is frowning again. Jongin approaches him quickly and pokes between his eyebrows.

“Stop that,” he instructs Kyungsoo. “You’re really going to get wrinkles.”

“What took you so long?”

“I was helping a girl carry her books to the library. She couldn’t manage on her own.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “A real sweetheart, aren’t you?”

They have plans to watch a movie and shop for Jongin’s sister’s birthday present. Jongin reaches for Kyungsoo’s hand and intertwines their fingers, leading them towards the mall. The older male’s hand is so warm and Jongin looks at him.

“You know, I was singing praises of you even though she didn’t ask.”

“Am I supposed to be grateful?”

“That would be really great, actually.” Jongin is already grinning. He shoves their connected hands into his pocket and holds it there resolutely, ignoring Kyungsoo’s attempts at trying to get his hand out.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Kyungsoo complains when he finally gives up. Despite his words, when Jongin glances at him, there is a hint of a smile on the older male’s face.

“Give me a kiss.”

“What? No.”

“Come on! Give me a kiss. Just one. On my cheek. Please?”

“Shut the fuck up before I punch your face.”

The smile is growing on Kyungsoo’s face even though he tries his very hardest to suppress it. Jongin, on the other hand, has his biggest grin on display. He tilts his head so he can meet Kyungsoo’s eyes on equal level, a gesture that has always annoyed the older male—except Jongin knows perfectly well how to counter the sting of this, of course.

“But I love you.”

There.

Kyungsoo looks away, but it’s too late. The smile breaks free and Jongin has never seen anyone as cute as Kyungsoo when he smiles.

“I love you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin says again. They’re far enough from the school now, Jongin thinks, and he wants what he wants. 

When Kyungsoo finally looks at him again with unmistakable adoration glimmering in his eyes, Jongin knows he’s getting what he asked for. He leans closer to the older male, and Kyungsoo leans up begrudgingly, or at least pretends to feel that way, to plant a chaste kiss on Jongin’s cheek.

Jongin feels practically invincible now. He squeezes Kyungsoo’s fingers.

“Do you love me too?” 

“You’re an alright guy.”

And Jongin reads between the lines, hears Kyungsoo telling him that he loves him too, that he loves him so much he thinks he might go crazy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://twitter.com/kaiwaiixdesoo/status/952450480164098048

The classroom has never been so crowded. Baekhyun leans back comfortably, feeling smug about having came early and snagging the best seat in the front row. It’s a big day—the student council president election day—and his two best friends are running for the same position.

Baekhyun has his bet on Jongin (even though he told Kyungsoo otherwise last night while going through his script with him). Jongin is tall and handsome and charismatic, all smiles and promises of fun whereas Kyungsoo is more serious, very handsome too but not as much of a social butterfly as his rival. Honestly, though, he doesn’t really care who wins. He just can’t wait for the election to end, having grown tired of helping his best friends go through their scripts and listening to them talk about how nervous they are.

Once today is over, he knows they’ll go right back to how they were before—they’ll head to the night market in their school uniforms and buy more sausages than they can finish, spend way too much money on claw machines and eat enough cotton candy to make their teeth rot. The results won’t matter. Baekhyun is certain that this isn’t something capable of turning his best friends against each other.

Kyungsoo is standing at the corner of the classroom, diligently going through his script for the millionth time perhaps. He is always prim and proper, but it’s evident that he paid extra attention to his personal grooming tonight, having ironed out all the wrinkles in his uniform, and does not have a single strand of hair out of place.

Jongin, who is standing at the other end, looks almost unaffected. His script is nowhere to be seen and he has one hand tucked into his pocket, evidently unnerved by the sheer amount of people in the audience. His dark hair is reasonably messy, the short sleeves of his top rolled up to reveal muscular biceps, and he grins when he catches Baekhyun’s eye.

This is Baekhyun’s first time attending such an election even though he’s already in his third year. He couldn’t care less about who becomes president because it has never had a direct impact, and even now, he’s only here to support his friends—and for one more reason.

He does a fist-bump through the air with Jongin and redirects his attention back to Kyungsoo who is still absorbed in his script. He looks so small and cute that Baekhyun’s heart clenches for a moment and makes him wonder if what he’s intending to do is the right thing.

But then he remembers how long he has been kept in the dark and his determination comes right back. 

Kyungsoo and Jongin have nobody to blame but themselves. They must think he’s an idiot, really. Baekhyun admits he didn’t immediately pick up on the signs, but once he started noticing that the dynamics in their friendship had undergone change, he realized immediately. 

Their friendship started in the first year. They clicked instantly, and over the years had a few disagreements, but Baekhyun thinks he’ll never find better friends than the both of them. It must have been in the start of the second year when things started changing. He would stumble upon Kyungsoo and Jongin eating together without him, having their own private time in empty classrooms. He would go over to Kyungsoo’s house and discover Jongin’s personal items lying around. He would catch them staring at each other, sharing private jokes he had no part in.

Initially, Baekhyun thought he was slowly being excluded from the friendship. But in terms of the way his friends treated him, nothing had changed. He was still very much adored. So he started thinking—what else could all that he had discovered possibly entail? He had a suspicion, and it grew stronger and stronger, but what really confirmed it was when he caught the two of them in the act with his very own eyes.

It was on a summer night, the night of the festival. They had decided to watch the fireworks from the top of the hill, away from the crowd. Baekhyun was consumed by a sudden craving for red bean soup and promised he would be back before the fireworks started. His friends set off for the hill first, and Baekhyun went to get what he wanted. 

But the journey took longer than expected and the fireworks had already begun when Baekhyun finally arrived at the foot of the hill with two extra servings of red bean soup for his best friends. It was dark—he squinted to see two figures on top that he recognized to be Kyungsoo and Jongin and was just starting to happily make his way towards them when—bursts of fire lit up the sky. Flares sizzled and exploded into bouquets of red, yellow, green.

And in those brief bursts of light, Baekhyun saw the unmistakable image of Kyungsoo leaning over to kiss Jongin.

He joined them only after the fireworks had ended and they were just sitting side by side, having the most platonic interaction. They took their red bean soup from Baekhyun gratefully and didn’t say a word as he wedged himself between them, carefully watching their faces. They had flushed cheeks and happy smiles, and Baekhyun didn’t know why, but he didn’t say a word about it.

It became a secret he held for the next few days, then weeks, then months—until now.

He’s not angry at them, but he knows just how to get back at them for leaving him out of this.

Kyungsoo delivers his speech first. He is confident and clearly well-rehearsed. His voice remains strong and steady throughout and people in the audience applause and cheer when he ends it with his catchphrase. Even Baekhyun, who is leaning more towards Jongin, finds himself inclined to vote for Kyungsoo after such an amazing speech. He gives his friend a thumbs-up and Kyungsoo is so smiling so widely it looks like his cheeks might burst.

He backs off from the wooden podium for Jongin to step up, and if Baekhyun had not been paying extra attention, he would have missed the look they exchanged, more loving than friendly.

Jongin gives his speech and Baekhyun is vaguely impressed by how well Jongin presents himself, and how he smiles at the right times. He starts strong and ends strong, and similarly, is greeted with thunderous applause as he steps away from the podium.

The ex-president of the student council gives his speech, and then invites both candidates to step forward. It’s the very last segment where Kyungsoo and Jongin are expected to answer questions the audience has for them, and their answers will then be compared.

This is it. Now is the time. Baekhyun raises his hand the moment the session begins and Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him, knowing his best friend is up to no good. 

He’s not wrong.

“Aren’t you two boyfriends?” 

Their jaws drop. It’s a funny sight but Baekhyun tries to hold back his laughter, putting on the most serious expression he can manage. People behind him start whispering, doubtful, surprised, disgusted, different reactions.

Baekhyun almost starts to feel bad, especially upon seeing the deadpan look on Kyungsoo’s face, but then he looks at Jongin and realizes that his best friend’s lips are curled and he looks very much like he’s trying to suppress his laughter.

For what feels like an eternity, no one speaks.

Then Jongin flashes a dazzling smile and Baekhyun knows it’s genuine because it reaches his eyes.

“We are.”

Baekhyun sees his arm move and doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that he reached out for Kyungsoo’s hand, and now they’re holding hands behind the podium as if they’re in a cheesy love film. He wants to throw up, but he also wants to hug them both tightly and tell them how happy he is for them.

It seems all is well—probably, even though Kyungsoo glares at him and makes a slitting gesture against his throat. Whatever. Baekhyun thinks it’s only fair to take revenge on his friends for hiding such a beautiful secret from him (and Jongin looks far too happy about this).

(In the end, Jongin wins by four votes, but Baekhyun is the only one who knows who's _really_ in charge of the student council when his stupid friend is so unbelievably smitten with his other idiot friend.) 

-

"Oh my god."

"Stop it, please."

"I did _not_ expose you two to see that."

"Are you kissing him in front of me? Really? In front of me?"

"Okay, _stop_."

"I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me and spare me from this sight."

"..." 

"I'm going to kill myself."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY (LATE) VALENTINE'S DAY!! here's something i wrote REAL quick. i just suddenly wanted to write about someone who feels alone in a foreign land, who's struggling a little bit, and what a bit of kindness can lead to. might write more of this au in the future (maybe a few months from now)!!!!!!

_12 February._

Kyungsoo awakens before his alarm rings and drags his heavy body out of bed. He heads straight for the door while rubbing his bleary eyes, hoping this time he won’t be too late. The room is shrouded in a soft veil of light—pastel shades slowly melting into the sky outside, a beautiful morning slowly seizing its throne. 

When he gets to the door, he stills. His fingers curl around the door handle and his heart makes a particularly forceful thump. This has been going on for about a month now. At first, he thought it was just a prank, but its consistency has led him to believe otherwise. He never really thought about what he would say if he were to come face-to-face with whoever is behind this, but he really does want to find out who it is, and thank him.

The door swings open and Kyungsoo’s gaze lands on a familiar sight. A paper bag sitting before his door, a silent morning greeting that feels especially intimate in this peaceful quietness. His heart sinks slightly at once again missing whoever has been leaving breakfast at his door.

Kyungsoo bends low, reaching for the paper bag. He picks it up and examines the content inside. The first time it happened was on a day he decided to sleep in, and the food had long turned cold when he got to it. Now—the chocolate croissant is still warm—whoever left this for him can’t possibly be too far away.

The corridor is empty as far as Kyungsoo’s gaze can reach. Maybe they missed each other by a few minutes, or even seconds. Maybe Kyungsoo should try to chase after him, even though he has no idea who he’s supposed to be looking for.

He yawns while being submerged in these thoughts, and realizes that more than anything, he just wants to go back to bed with his warm breakfast right now. He does exactly that, though not before looking down the empty corridor again.

As Kyungsoo crawls into bed with chocolate croissant and fresh milk, he gets the briefest feeling of being home again, and temporarily forgets about how he’s all alone in this foreign land miles and miles away from home.

-

_13 February._

Kyungsoo misses the mysterious breakfast sender again. He’s more disappointed than he thought he would be, and while staring at the paper bag that contains hot pancakes and fresh milk, decides this can’t go on.

He grabs a paper and marker and scribbles a short message. I want to meet you. He pastes it against the door firmly, and satisfied, shuts it.

The food is still so warm and as it fills Kyungsoo’s belly, he hopes that they won’t miss each other by a few seconds once more.

-

_14 February._

A sudden gust of cold wind makes Kyungsoo shiver. He grimaces, shoves his hands into his pockets and hurries on. His hair is a literal bird-nest and the red mark on his cheek from having slept with the side of his face pressed into the hard table has yet to dissipate.

It’s Valentine’s day. He remembers that only when he passes at least two guys holding bouquets and heart-shape balloons. It’s Valentine’s day and he had spent the eve of it rushing through his assignment, falling asleep in the library. 

The route home has never felt so long AND lonely. Kyungsoo scoffs at himself, disappointed that he feels this way at all. Valentine’s day is stupid and overrated. Back home, it didn’t really get to him that much because he had friends to spend it together with, but here, where he already feels lonely, such an occasion is even more worth loathing.

When the familiar building of his dormitory floods his eyesight, he exhales a long sigh of relief. In the lift, he glances at his watch and jabs the close button. It’s 5 minutes earlier than the time he awoke yesterday morning. He thinks about the note he left at his door yesterday, wondering if the magic of Valentine’s would weave its way into this small matter as well.

The elevator doors open, slowly. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, takes a step out. His expectant heart doesn’t believe what he’s finally seeing. 

A figure standing before his door. 

Kyungsoo takes another step closer and double-checks if it’s his door for real. It is. The paper bag in the guy’s hands confirms it for him.

“You.” Kyungsoo calls out as he quickens his pace, closing the distance between him and the mysterious stranger who has been bringing him breakfast every single day without fail, between him and the mysterious stranger he has been longing to meet.

The guy startles visibly and Kyungsoo’s gaze trails lower to see the note he had written pinched between the stranger’s fingers. He looks up again, taking in the sight of a face he doesn’t think he’s seeing for the first time. 

“I know you!” Kyungsoo reveals. His eyebrows furrow. “I met you at the gathering for exchange students, didn’t I?” Now they’re close enough and Kyungsoo doesn’t have to raise his voice.

“Do you remember my name?” The guy sounds slightly nervous. His eyes, however, are bright and full of life, and the longer Kyungsoo looks into them, the more prominent the memories floating around in his mind become.

“Jongin, isn’t it?”

He doesn’t have to wait for Jongin’s acknowledgement to know he’s right. The way Jongin’s lips spread into a wide smile is enough answer.

“Yeah. I’m glad you remember me.” Jongin touches the back of his head and his gaze falls for a moment. Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the fleeting uncertainty in his eyes. “I read your note. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been doing this.”

The paper bag is still in his hands. Kyungsoo looks down at today’s breakfast and feels his heart grow tender with gratitude. He reaches for the paper bag and Jongin hands it over without hesitation.

“Why would I mind? I’m so thankful. I wanted to meet you and thank you properly, though I have no idea why you started doing this at all. We only briefly talked to each other at the gathering.”

Jongin gives a small, nervous laugh. “Yeah, I mean, I thought you might find it kind of creepy that I knew where you lived and all. But you did mention it when we talked and it wasn’t hard to find out which unit you were in.”

Then silence took over as they both took their time registering their current situation, both at a loss of what to do. But the circumstances aren’t unpleasant in nature and Kyungsoo can’t look away from Jongin, who is almost half a head taller than him and yet looks so small in front of him right now, so lost and unsure.

It’s Valentine’s day. Kyungsoo hates to admit it but he’s been feeling so incredibly homesick lately.

It’s Valentine’s day. Jongin has been delivering breakfast to him for a month.

“Come on in,” Kyungsoo eventually extends an invitation. “Unless you have anything on now?” 

Jongin mulls over it for a moment. “I have training, but I can stay for another five minutes.”

I was hoping you would, Kyungsoo thinks, and realizes with a horrified gasp that he said it aloud only when he hears Jongin’s laughter. He doesn’t mind, though, not when he looks back at Jongin and Jongin’s smile is the most sincere thing he has seen for a while now.

“You seemed lonely,” Jongin explains when they’re sitting side by side on the small couch Kyungsoo had managed to find for an unbelievably low price. “I didn’t want you to feel alone. I know how hard it is to be away from home.”

“Don’t we both?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“I’m here on exchange for a year. I’ve been here longer than you have, and I’ve really gotten used to it. You’ve been here for only three months, yeah?”

Kyungsoo does a quick mental calculation and nods. “About three months.”

“I thought I’d just send you breakfast everyday, make you know that you’re not alone, that someone’s looking out for you here too.”

At that moment, Kyungsoo really doesn’t know how to describe the electrifying sensation coursing through his entire body, making his toes tingle and his face flush. Something fills his chest and he feels like a glass of water about to tip over. He can only stare dumbly at Jongin.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Kyungsoo. I really want to be your friend, you know.”

Jongin’s face disappears, replaced by darkness as Kyungsoo shuts his eyes. The tears flow out anyway, warm tears rolling down his cheeks. But when the world fills his vision again, Jongin is still looking at him with the same gentle eyes and smile and Kyungsoo knows he has found something he never thought he would here.

He gets the briefest feeling of being home again, and temporarily forgets about how he’s all alone in this foreign land miles and miles away from home.

“I bought you hot milk tea today since it’s Valentine’s,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo knows right away that the feeling is mutual, and that perhaps Jongin had seen something in him right from the start.


End file.
